The Erin Andrews Peephole Saga

I'd just like to say a few words on the Erin Andrews story that has broken over the past few days. For those that don't know, Erin was filmed through a reverse peephole in her hotel room. And yes...she was naked.

Now, I'd like to state, there is not one man in this country or universe for that matter that would not like to see Erin Andrews naked. You'd almost have to be a communist if you didn't. But there's good naked and there's bad naked. I'm not saying that what I saw was bad naked, but how it went down was definitely not cool.

Only a dirtball hillbilly sleaze would put a camera up to a peephole. These are the type of dudes that you see on the Chris Hansen, "Catch a Predator" show. If you really want to see Erin Andrews naked, do what any other respectable male in this country would do...Buy her 3 long island iced teas at the hotel bar and let the magic run it's course. It's not exactly rocket science here. Nobody thinks you're cool because you peeped into a peephole, dude. In fact, that's very un-dude of you to do.

I'd be willing to bet my entire life savings, that given a few more years, Erin would've gotten naked for the entire world on her own merit, legally. Possibly for Hugh Hefner. Now we can all kiss that dream goodbye, thanks to this douche bag.

By the way, I saw the video. She's good looking and all. And I bet deep down inside, behind the impending lawsuits and negative attention, I'd bet that she's secretly really into all of this exposure. Any good looking woman out there loves to be told she's hot, just to feed her ego. Afterall, she's worked hard on her craft and her body and she deserves a little attention. But guys out there reading this, don't go overboard. Don't be a douche bag about all of this. Act like a Marcus Allen touchdown. Act like you've been there before.

4th of July and wedding day are they the same

i am getting married and it accord to me that the 4th of July and wedding day is the same thing.

everyone gets together and spends far more for a single days event then ever needed.

money is spent tempers and alcohol flow freely.

and in the end something blows up then its done aand over with

My letter to a Red Sox fan

Bryan, So what I’m about to tell you I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for years, and who better to tell than Bryan Williams…I have been a closet Red Sox fan for many years. Let’s face it. It’s not easy to be me when I admit this. And I’m fully aware of all of the ramifications resulting in my outing. A Missouri guy admitting he likes a team on the east coast is credibility suicide, especially when you’ve grown up a legitimate Royals fan who could tell you every 5th starter in the team’s history.

But here’s the thing, I legitimately like how they put their team together every year. Just take the pitching staff this year. It’s hard to argue with Beckett, Lester, Penny, Smoltz, and Wakefield to man your rotation. To be able to throw in those veterans when Dice-K gets hurt, and still have a Clay Buchholz in Pawtucket. That’s just how you should do it. And then to finish off games with Ramirez and Papelbon is just not even fair. They could win the division with that pitching staff alone. God knows the Yankees aren’t even close to that level right now.This is not even mentioning all of their High OBP guys like Youkilis, and Bay, Drew, and Ellsbury. And then add slug with Big Papi. Then throw in Pedroia and Lugo’s defense, and still have Lowrie in AAA. Also, their bench alone would lead every Royals offensive statistic, and Baldelli would be their team MVP.

So here’s really the thing. It’s hard for me to admit any of this for fear of being considered a bandwagon fan. These are things that I don’t like to tell people. I’ve mentioned once or twice a little hint of all this to Tommy, but he tore me up something fierce so I knew I couldn’t tell him anymore than I had to. So I just decided to put the idea out of my mind.

But I’ve been thinking about buying a Red Sox hat for like 6 years now and I still don’t know if it’s a good idea or not. What are your thoughts? See, everybody and their brother is a Red Sox fan, but it’s mostly because it’s the trendy thing to be. And I don’t want to be thought of as “cool” or “trendy” just because the Red Sox are. I legitimately like the team purely for baseball reasons alone. I couldn’t care less what Papelbon thinks of Manny, or whatever controversy Varitek is involved in, I just flat out like the squad.

I’m the type of guy that doesn’t understand why Worcester is pronounced the way it is and I’ve never eaten a bowl of clam chowder, I thought the movie Summer Catch was a little cheesedick, but I remember as a kid always being intrigued with the Troy O’Leary, Darren Bragg, Mike Greenwell outfield. Anyways, the Royals have always sucked my whole life and I swear to God if I have to watch another game with both Tony Pena and Ryan Freel in the same lineup, I’m going to throw up.

Just so you know, if I were to buy a hat, it would be the official game “new era” with the Boston “B”. I would not even consider buying anything that looks like its old and torn up, or anything with the word Fenway or Yawkey on it, or anything that references the 1918 world series. I will also not be buying anything with a cloverleaf on it or anything resembling any shade of the color green. Your thoughts on any of this?

Oh yeah, I also really liked the movie Fever Pitch.

Aaron

State of the Royals

I've been a fan of the Royals for going on 18 years now. I remember first becoming aware of the Royals back in 1992 at the ripe young age of 9 years old. 1992 was a different time and place in the world. The United States won a war in Iraq. Everybody wore neon clothing. The country was rejuvenated by a hansom young politician from Arkansas. Seattle was the epicenter of musical innovation. The USA Dream Team ruled international competition. "Cheers" was the number one show on television....and the Kansas City Royals became my team. For 18 brutal years, I've watched historically bad baseball. During that period of time The Royals have compiled a God awful record 1211-1557 which equates to a winning percentage of .437. Only 3 of those 18 years resulted in winning records. 1993, 1994, and 2003. That being said, is it too much to ask for a 26 year old man to long for a winning club? Haven't I suffered enough?

The question itself is debatable. Afterall its been exactly 100 years since the Cubs won a World Series. The Boston Red Sox waited some 80 years in between titles. But even both of those teams had some good squads in their seemingly indefinite periods of darkness. The Royals, however, have found every possible way to lose imaginable. They've had overweight First Baseman get hit in the back wandering in the middle of the infield by a throw from the outfield to homeplate. The same First Baseman got stuck between the tarp and the wall. As well as accidentally rifle a ball into the pitcher's face....And he was known as a pretty good defender.

I've seen a Center Fielder climb the wall to rob a potential home run, only to watch the ball drop harmlessly into the field of play 15 feet in front of the wall.

I've seen 2 Outfielders stare at each other, thinking that the other one was supposed to catch the 3rd out in an inning as each of them trotted their way into the dug out. Coincidentally, that ball dropped in between them too.

I've seen a player bat out of order to start the game. Mind you, this is the major leagues and the lineup card is directly in front of the entire world on the giant scoreboard.

I've seen a General Manager sign a player not claimed by any other team, and call that player a legitimate 5-tool talent. He was released by the end of the year.

I've seen the same General Manager sign a competitive male softball pitcher. In case you weren't aware, softball pitchers throw the ball underhand.

And then there were the bad trades. Who could forget Jermaine Dye for Nefei Perez? Johnny Damon for Roberto Hernandez? Carlos Beltran for John Buck and Mark Teahen?

I've seen player after player neglect to sign with the Royals, and after the one and only player we legitimately locked up, Mike Sweeney, well he went on to be constantly hurt 4 years out of his 5 year contract.

I remember a team in 2000 that led the league in hitting, but was last in the league in pitching. And then there's this year, where the Royals are in the top 3 in pitching, and last in hitting.

Oh we've had our share of the gritty players too. There's enough of them to fill out a laundry list. Ross Gload, Tony Graffanino, Joe McEwing, Brent Mayne, Mark Grudzielanek, Scott Pose, Todd Dunwoody, Willie Bloomquist, and now Ryan Freel. We may be last in the league in losses, but we're first in grit!

How about all of our first round busts? There's another laundry list. I'll give it a shot: Jeff Granger, Jim Pittsley, Dee Brown, Dan Reichart, Kyle Snider, Mike Stodolka, Chris Lubanski, Colt Griffin, Jeff Austin, Juan LeBraun. You could field an entire pitching staff with those never weres!

So this ever so gingerly leads me into this year. So far, its been a year of disappointment. A year of injuries, and a year of never ending controversy. Recently, the Royals front office threatened to ban a popular blogger and Baseball Prospectus writer, just because they didn't like what he had to say about the training staff. I say it's fair game when you've had a questionable dose of questionable diagnoses. From Coco Crisp, to Mike Aviles, to Joakim Soria, to Alex Gordon. It's the same to me.

What I don't understand is that the Royals have 3 major national writers as fans of this God forsaken team, and they don't even acknowledge it. We're darn lucky to call Joe Posnanski, Rany Jazerili, and Rob Neyer fans. And we should feel appreciative that they pay attention to us instead of those east coast teams. Its an un-tapped treasure for sure. This is where the Red Sox got it right when they hired Bill James. They knew enough about his work to create a position for him, and have celebrated 2 world championships because of it. The Royals would only be so lucky to do the same.

So here we are, in the middle of summer, still hoping, still waiting, still frustrated. Just when things look up, they go south in a big hurry. Just this season alone, they've turned a division leading 18-11 record into a 35-47 fall into the cellar. They're sitting quite comfortably into the abyss of the American League Central. And Rightfully so too.

So where do we go from here? Former manager Buddy Bell said it best when he stated, "It can always get worse." Well, he's right. It sure can always get worse, and I'm afraid we haven't seen the bottom drop out yet.

With 79 games to play the Royals have their work cut out for them. Its a long road to the top, but it's also a longer road to the bottom. Knowing the Royals, they'll surely find a shortcut.

Another Disco question

I've spoken before how I've become a pretty huge fan of Chris Disco Hayes. Recently he was promoted from AA NW Arkansas to AAA Omaha. I've since written in to ask him a question, which I'll post here:

How old is too old to wear your hat backwards? I've heard that the general consensus is 27 yrs old. But I've also heard that trucker hats with velcro or snaps can be alloted an age much younger than that. Likewise, flex-fits can be worn backwards past 27 but there's just an overall confusion on the entire matter. Please clarify for the masses before the hysteria consumes us all.

Aaron D.
Kansas City, MO

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. I'm willing to bet you're 28 and still trying to pull off those dorky trucker hats with white mesh and random logos that sit like five feet up off your head aren't you? Just kidding. :) It's a good thing you asked this question when I was responding because unless Disco was a fashionista (last time I checked I'm pretty sure Disco only had tapered jeans and old man sweaters hanging in his closet before he met me), I doubt he'd be able to give you any kind of sound and up-to-date fashion advice.How old is too old to wear your hat backwards? I'm pretty sure if you're not younger than 9 years old, you're too old to wear it backwards (unless of course you're a catcher) (or a ridiculously hot guy with a chiseled face and a little bit of scruff) (or my husband in the off-season when he's allowed to have any facial hair). Well, my hypothesis failed me. My plan was to show you pictures of the hottest of the hot guys out there who pull off backwards caps like exotic dancers pull off their clothes, but I've found my hypothesis to be invalid. It seems all the hotty-hot-hots are so hot they don't ever go out with a backwards hat, let alone any kind of disguise covering their gorgeous faces. For instance, I scoured the internet and didn't find any of these gems with a backwards cap of any kind.
So if you're average looking without amazing hair and impeccable looks like the fellas pictured above (Utley, Hayes, Beckham, Hayes), you can wear a hat at any age. And if for some reason you're blessed enough with a movie star face, you can wear whatever you want, whenever you want. Got that? Man, I'm getting myself all worked up over here with all these hotties, two of them being my ridiculously good looking husband, I've lost my thought process. Where was I?Ah. fitted hats. Yea, you know, I guess you can wear them as long as they aren't too tight so they don't leave a ring around your head. I actually like guys in ball caps, so disregard everything I said above and dress up your head to your hearts desire. (Random side note: A while back before I met Disco, I threw a "Dress Your Head" party... you basically had to do something fun from the neck up. We had everything from pink wigs, to chicken hats, to one guy wearing ah sock. Yea, 'parently he didn't get the memo.)Back to being serious for a second. Anyone can pull off pretty much anything if they're confident. Confidence rises above all trends of what to and what not to wear. If you're trying to pull off a rad Hurley trucker hat as long as you carry yourself with confidence (not cockiness, which is easily discoverable) you're going to look great. Just one cardinal rule, unrelated to hats. Whatever you do, if you're under the age of 55, please do NOT be seen in public wearing socks with your sandals. Capeche?