sick thoughts by the Salmon

hello everyone these are some thoughts you all my have or my not have ever thought about.
1-i wounder what a dogs vagina feels like
2-every one over the age of 75 should be euthanized
3-take advantage of DNA testing when having a baby
4-if there is something wrong with your baby no shit weigh out the pros and cons of having said baby. and the quality of life of the baby(religion has nothing to do with this)
5-i like to imagine what kinda underwear all girls over 18 up to including 50 yr old milfs
6-there is no real religion just ideas that make you comfortable with living in this shit stain called earth
7-veterans that signed up after 911 should not receive ptsd benefits they knew what they were getting into (now if they get wounded they should still recive the best medical care out there) just no ptsd
8-if you agree with any of this your a dick head
9- we all die enjoy it
10-i would imagine having my prostate stimulated while getting my dick sucked with a over weight Inuit lady dances while two roosters fight and peewee herman video tapes it

those are the first ten that poped into my head more to come

Better get to know a ballpark---Rosenblatt Stadium (update)

Hey all. Aaron here. I wanted to give the community a little update on the first of our 756 part series "Better get to know a Ballpark" feature. We're one post in, and there's already some contraversy. Nice...

I mentioned in my previous post that the city of Omaha was working on tearing down old Rosenblatt and building a brand new stadium. And that is, in fact, the case...But, I'll also mention that they are not only going to build one new stadium, but two new stadiums within the metropolitan area. This is amazing stuff.

Here's how the story goes...The NCAA told the city of Omaha that they'd better get to building a new stadium, or else the College World Series would pursue other options in other cities. So this scared the city into ponying up an $126 million dollar tax levy upon the citizens to build a brand new 24,000 seat baseball venue in the downtown "Old Market" area, adjacent to the Qwest Center, which is their brand spanking new arena. What a great idea right? Build a new ballpark downtown, to generate interest in revitilization efforts inside the city itself. It's been done before, and it will be done in again and again. It's all the rage among sports venue construction, and it seems like a solid plan...But wait! There's more....

Considering the new project, one would think that the AAA Omaha Royals baseball team would move right into the new CWS venue, and take advantage of the developing situation downtown. Nope. What do they decide to do? The O-Royals decide to build their own 6,000 seat venue 10 miles south of the city of Omaha on a 300 acre piece of land in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles from civilization. The city of Papillion, Nebraska has granted $26 million in tax dollars to fund the project. The location of Pallion, Nebraska is the equivalent of BFE. I've learned that the Pacific Coast League was not a huge fan of the Omaha Royals yearly 17 game roadtrip in the middle of June, just to accomodate the CWS. So they decided to go about it their own way. An honorable decision, if it wasn't so ridiculously planned.

From what I can tell, the citizens of the entire metropolitan area are PISSED at these developments, and its no wonder why. Rosenblatt, albeit old, is intimate, and some consider it the Fenway Park of the Pacific Coast League. The old stadium is scheduled to be demolished in the summer of 2011, and in its place the Omaha Zoo will create more parking, and probably a couple more monkey exhibits. If you're monkey lover, this is you're kinda deal. Good on ya, monkey lover! Can't wait to visit Omaha real soon.

well hello everyone

i just want to say hello world. so hello. how is everyone doing, i dont think people ask each other that enough. so hello world, drop me a line by responding to our blog if you just want to get a little off your chest.

my thoughts

well my life is good but there are two people in this world, those who have and those who dont. i have Megan and that's all i really need, how ever it would be nice to hve some stuff to. mt example is this, on e-bay there was this beautiful 1975 bmw motorcycle it was only 1500.00. and i couldn't bid on it even if i wanted to. see the thing is no one will give me a job i collect a small amount of disability and have to go to school full time to collect my gi bill money to make ends meet.

now see the thing is i don't need this bike i want it and it is justifiable. my truck gets 10mph in the city and a bike would be way easier to pa for and afford to put gas in and get around on.
i don't want to sound like i am ungrateful, i have Megan a roof over my head and food to eat, i am in good shape so life is ok.
but heres the thing i went to war for this peace of sit country and cant get a lone for a bike because of debt i raked up when i thought i was going to be in the service my hole life. well after getting other peoples blood in my mouth and listening to them scream in pure agony i thought i would be best to get out before i pulled a Rambo.
see i also understand a lot of vets make it good for them and that's not sarcasm. but i seam to be having trouble.
unfortunately "i ant no senators son" i didn't have money for school my pops (god bless him) cant help with anything other than advice. i would not trade that for the world i love my dad i wouldn't ant other way. i am just saying every now and then i want. does that make me wrong

The "fuck yeah" moment

I'd like to discuss something I refer to as the "fuck yeah" moment in life. Its hard to explain, but I'll try and do my best. The Fuck Yeah moment is the moment of anticipation for future awesome moments. It's a pre-celebratory moment, if you will, that leads directly into the main event.

An example: You're at a concert. Milling around the room, talking to your neighbors just right before the band goes on stage. You just grabbed a beer at the concession stand and you're yip yapping back and forth with your group talking about the last time you seen the band play and how they're getting old now, but they still know how to rock...And then it happens. The lights go dark! The band is just about to unleash awesomeness unto which you will not be able to comprehend. You know its coming, and you can't take it anymore. The lead Guitarist is noodling his way until that moment when it seems like a freight train hits you right in the face..."Fuck Yeah," you yell as the lead singer belts out the opening line....That's a fuck yeah moment.

An example: In baseball, the starting pitcher for the nights game begins his night's initial work in the bullpen 25 minutes before the scheduled first pitch. He plays long toss with the catcher, until he feels comfortable enough to take the rubber in the bullpen. There he works on his various pitches that he plans on using for the night. He'll throw a variety of fastballs, change-ups, breaking balls, until he's loose, and ready for the game to start. The jumbotron is announcing the starting lineups and bad 80's metal plays in the background. The starting pitcher has finished his final warm-up tosses and is ready to take the long trot down the right field line into the infield. But before he does so, he gathers among the other pitchers in the bullpen and the starting catcher, and they all share a moment together. Its an anticipated moment that leads the group into nexus of emotions for the coming evening..."Fuck Yeah," someone yells in the crowd adjacent to the bullpen. "Go get 'em tonight" The pitcher acknowledges the well-wishers and jogs into the game.

*****

There are many "fuck yeah" moments in life, and these are just a couple of them. Its important to remember these as they happen, because they are the little things in this world, that makes this life worth living.

They call him Disco because he throws in the 70's...

I wanted to talk a little about a pitcher the Royals have in their minor league system playing for the NW Arkansas Naturals. His name is Chris Hayes, and he's a very interesting study to say the least. By his own admission, he throws underhanded like a girl, barely hits 74mph with his fastball, and has a change-up that needs an advanced degree in astro-physics to understand. He's truly a unique individual...Oh and by the way, he's got a degree in Computer Science from Northwestern. He's such a smart dude that people are now asking him for computer technical support questions on his blog. How he balances out answering tech support questions and closing for the NW Arkansas Naturals, all the while supporting a sub 2 ERA, I'll never understand.

He's gotta great blog you can check out, and I advise all of you to do so. Many people smarter than myself, including Rany Jazayerli, have broken down his statistics and physical make-up and potential as a Royals prospect so I won't get into that here...but I thought I'd reprint a question I asked him recently regarding the post-game celebratory high-five following a win:

*********

Could you explain to me the anatomy of the post-game celebratory high five. It seems to me that 2 lines somehow form in what appears to be in perfect conjunction with one another. Both lines dutifully high five one another while the pitcher inadvertently gets his butt slapped. What I don't understand is who and how do the players decide to get in which line? What happens if you get in the wrong line, and are there any consequences?

Aaron D., Kansas City, MO


Walk-off wins are the only wins that don't have a prescribed choreography (I wanted to use the term "blocking" here instead but didn't because I figured my fan-base didn't overlap with theater fans...I've made myself laugh now in proofreading that I ironically settled on "choreography"). Walk-offs are also the wins that make relief pitchers feel really awkward. It's getting off topic, but next time you get the opportunity to see a walk-off win, just watch the relievers and enjoy their awkwardness. They are way late to the party and don't really know how much jumping is enough, yet not too much.

Back on topic. For all non-walk-offs, the pitcher and catcher will meet halfway between the mound and the plate and shake hands. The rest of the fielders who were in the game will congregate just behind second base and congratulate each other and make small talk and then form a line and begin walking towards the mound from second base. The pitcher and catcher will then walk towards the mound from home plate. The bench players will join behind the pitcher and catcher in walking away from home towards the mound in a line. As the two lines meet, the players will high five, knock knuckles, side bump, or execute a hand shake all their own. Once the line moving away from home gets to the end of the line moving towards home, they do an about-face and now become part of the line moving towards home (think trumpet line in a marching band). The manager and a few of his coaches will stay at the foul line and await all the players to eventually make their way back towards the dugout. The fielders who started the line in from second base will make it to the manager first and then the rest will eventually fall in line.

"Inadvertent" butt slaps are a foreign concept to me as all butt slaps I have been a part of (both as slapper and slappee) have been executed knowingly. And consequences for entering the wrong line would probably be pretty severe from both your team and the winning team if you shook off the loss quickly enough to join the butt slap line of the team who just beat you.

Disco Chris Hayes

we live in shit

well hello everyone this is the salmon here reporting on whats going on in my world. i attend a small college for right now until i feel confident to go to a real four year school (that moment is rapidly approaching). like my buddy aaron i to have noticed the decline in the genetic make up of my small town and i noticed this on the bus to school, perel doesn't make enough hand sanitizer for that 20 min journey.

muncie is a small town formally and maybe still known as little chicago. it is divided into what i can tell south side, country, and ghetto.

the bus to school travels right through the heart of the south side home to mouth breathers, 15yr old moms and white dude that listen to rap real loud and where sideways Yankee hates, the south side of town used to be known as shed town but now its a peace of crap the city of muncie openly built a round about to divide the rest of the city from the south side and no one cared.

on the bus i have smelt and heard my fair share of nastiness that would shock the most hardened of individuals. example my boy friend used to beat me so my dad came over with a gun and ran him off, the same lady fallowed that gem of a story by saying she likes to fuck and it doesn't matter how much because she cant have babys. she also talked about how she got caught stealing discount shampoo, and said next time she will steal the real stuff. thats one lady the other stuff i heard is to bad to even talk about

whats causing this decline in brain cells across America?
i dont know is it Rock of Love, i love money. TV could be the big culprit
or is it there is no competition for survival anymore people get away on their looks, or left alone by they lack there of.

the world needs to introduce a new predator, maybe North Korea should launch a Nuclear rocket right up our ass and force us to start over again


well thats all for now my class is starting

the salmon

out