Ed, That is a shitty-ass day. That's the type of day where you just chalk it up as a loss and say, hey- we'll go back out there and get 'em tomorrow. After all Greinke is pitching. Its one thing to get fucked by the cable company, but its another to lose a $5 lour.
I thought this might be the perfect time to step away from the daily grind of life. Huddle inside your favorite snuggie blanket, cook a frozen pizza, and clear the mind of all that is wretched-...so we can discuss some of the reasons why I hate Matthew McConaughey.
A couple of summers ago Ed asked me one of the most valid questions of our day. He said, "If you could punch any actor in the face, who would it be?" Without one doubt in my sober mind, I said the words Matthew McConaughey.
Now I know what people will say- What? He's a great actor. He's gotta great body. The ladies love him. To which I will respond- Erroneous! To me a guy like McConaughey is the guy everybody loved to hate in High School, but nobody would tell him to his face. He's the guy everybody wants to know, but will talk about behind his back. See, McConaughey represents everything that is wrong with America today. All style, and no substance. All flash, no cash...Lets face the facts here. We live in a world where people are famous for being famous. I mean, its not exactly news here. Where went the days when you had to earn what you received?
Lets get serious for a moment. Who in their right mind takes off their shirt just to take off their shirt? To me, that just screams ass-hole. Ok I get it, you've got a great body. Your pectorals are pectorating. Your abdominal are abdimating.You have luscious long flowing blong hair that only Miss America contestants dream about. And you know how to pull off a good pair of aviator sunglasses. Well Matthew McConaughey- Tom Cruise you are not!
He's the cool guy. The guy that always gets the girl. He's clever and witty and humorous and it disgusts me. Ok, Dazed and Confused was pretty good. I'll admit that. But even so, you wore a creepy mustache and hung around high school children. But what I'm really talking about are movies like "How to lose a guy in 10 days, Fool's Gold, and Failure to Launch." Those all just sort of rubbed me the wrong way, and to tell the truth, made my soul die a little after viewing each one. Each one involving the same plot.
Step 1. Look good and be successful
Step 2. Meet a girl
Step 3. A misunderstanding occurs
Step 4. Reconcile with girl by using your wit and good looks. (See Step 1.)
The next time you see McConaughey looking cool while not wearing a shirt, I'd like for everyone to stand-up and unite with me on this. People like MacConaughey shouldn't even be allowed to have a driver's license, let alone star in a major motion picture. So as you go on about your day, believing the myth we call the American Dream, think about the ass-hole that took that dream away from you, stomped on it, and kicked it away like it was a pile of trash- all while not wearing a shirt. That my friend, is one shitty day.
your right buddy mister McConaughey is America incarnate hansom ripped but i am sure he cant bench over 135lbs. but thats how people are now all flash and no cash, they all talk the talk and then some but none of them can walk the walk. Aaron you represent the real man hard working when there is work to be done and lazy when its time to be. good old McConaughey will get his in the end when he gets to be about 50 his chest will fall to his stomach and he will look more like i do sans the facial scars
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