Wasted Thoughts from a sober mind

Dr. Salmon, I wanted to post a little response to your last post. I agree mostly with what you've got to say, but I think its worth taking a look at a little more deeper. Afterall, as of 2:38am, we've had 111 visitors to the blog. Some had stayed for more than 15 seconds, and its time we gave them their money's worth.

I've thought alot lately about what kind of direction I'm heading in, where I'm going, and what I'll do when I get there. You're right, the day you're born into this world, is the day you start dying. Its kind of a sick view on reality, but true nonetheless. Sometimes I ask myself questions like, why are we here? What's the point to all of this? Those are the kind of questions that can leave a man pondering for hours. But I think the truth of the matter is that the reason and purpose we are on this earth is to leave it just a little bit better than we found it. If we can live our lives treating others how we'd like to be treated, well then I'd say that the good Lord will have a few nice things to say about us once we leave our celestial bodies. And really, I think that this is the simpilist ways we can comprehend our existence within the earth plane.

One thing I've noticed about a good friendship is that its pretty darn hard to get rid of. In other words, if you find a person that you relate to, share and bond with, then its darn near impossible to terminate it, short of sleeping with your friend's wife...But I'll be willing to bet that there's plenty of friends out there that would be willing to hand their wife over to their friend, just so they could get a couple of good night's sleep....But really, that's kind of beside the point I'm trying to get at.

It is true, however, that a good friend will be with you no matter what, through thick and thin. Sunshiny days as well as cloudy ones. Possibly a dry drizzle or two. And yes, there will be times when a good friend will disappoint you, but afterall we all are flawed human beings.

The family dynamic is a bit different. Afterall they're really the friends that you didn't choose. But I think the bond is still the same. Family has the ability to disappoint just as the friend can, the difference is you're forced to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. If you don't, well then Mom will be pissed. And God knows, we don't wanna piss Mom off.

I consider myself a relatively private person. I don't express myself particularly well through face-to-face interaction. This is not to say that I'm a reclusive hermit by any means, its just that sometimes I feel uncomfortable dealing with people that are outside of my comfort zone. Does this make me a flawed human being? Well, no I don't really think so...But of course, a potential career in sales might be out the window! ha!

But this is why I think that this forum of blogging is so appealing to me. It allows both me and you Dr. Salmon, to interact with each other, maybe share a couple of our 'off the wall' ideas to a few people, and maybe forge a couple of relationships with some other people that we wouldn't normally interact with all along the way.

The Internet is a unique medium, insofar as it allows us to truly be ourselves. No matter how sick one's mind works, its a place where we can go to get away from it all. And there's just something endearing about that to me. Salmon, I've known you now for going on 11 years and I'd have to say that I know you pretty well.

Alot of things we agree upon, and yet there are still alot of things we don't. That's what makes this blog a cool place to express each other's ideas and opinions. I consider this blog to be a place where anything and everything goes. I have no qualms about anything, and I know you don't either. If somebody out there wants to say that I'm a cocksucker. Well then I say go for it! At least you say what's on your mind, and I actually like the cruel reality of the situation. This world is filled with kiss asses, and suck-ups, and corporate drones that are afraid of pissing off the wrong person, and I feel like this blog is a place where I can be myself, without any consequence. To me, the only real consequence of not speaking your mind is the horrible feeling you get within the pit of your belly when you know you aren't being true to yourself.

Anyways, this is just a couple of wasted thoughts, from a guy just like any other guy out there in their mid-20's trying to find their way in the world. I would encourage anybody who reads this to give us a shout out, and tell us what's on your mind. Give us the gory details...As Fraiser would say, "The doctor is in!"

if you dont have anything nice to say dont sayanything at all

HELLO WORLD, the salmon here to report on how things are going. sorry i havent posted in a while but i havent had anything nice or positive to say and, Dr. Ai-un and i started this with the want to post our out of the box ideas, rant about life and so on. i felt my past few blogs havent bean a good representation of my self. see its true i really dont like adults this includes myself but maybe through the idiotic things i say others might see faults in themselves they want to change.

life is all one big joke when you think about it from the moment you are born the odds are against you, you are going to have to pay taxes and you will die, a friend or family member will betray you, a loved one or pet will die, at point you wont have any money, this is the truth.

now despite that there is some great things in life i feel i should point out too. the sun will shine your friends will be your friends money will come and go.

what i am trying to say is if you focus on the bad thats all you will see. but step back once and a while and you will see there is so much good. i dont mean look at life like a pacifistic pussy. but like a normal person with normal things.

doing this will help i promise

well thats all for now

the salmon
out

Better get to know a ballpark---Arvest Ballpark

Ladies and gentleman. Its time now for part 2 of our 764 part series of "Better get to know a Ballpark." This one is another minor league addition, and I've got to say, it was a nice little experience for me.

Arvest Ballpark is located in Springdale, Arkansas and is home to the Northwest Arkansas Naturals, the AA affiliate of the Kansas City Royals. It's a place within the game where dreams are crushed and surprises emerge. Its a plethora of physical and mental emotions surrounding the typical AA ballplayer that can not be understood, nor would you want to understand. The ballpark is a mere 7 to 8 minutes (depending on traffic) from the Wal-Mart world headquarters in Bentonville. As you know, I've previously had a couple of things to say about Wal-Mart. But I digress. Springdale is apart of the metropolitan 4 city region that encompasses Northwest Arkansas. Bentonville, Fayetteville, Rogers, and Sprindale make up the metropolis. It is one of the nation's fastest growing regions and has an overall population of around 500,000. When put together, its size is similar to the city of Milwaukee. (Milwaukee, by the way, is in fact an indian name pronounced "mil-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for the "good land." As Alice Cooper famously quoted in the movie "Wayne's World. Another interesting sidenote stated by Alice Cooper was that Milwaukee has had its share of French missionaries and explorers dating all the way back to the 16th century.)

But this isn't a post about Milwaukee. We're talking about Arkansas. Specifically the Northwest Region. It's a college town, a vacation destination, a region with a multi-billion dollar retail headquarters, a chicken raising haven, and last but not least, home to Double A baseball.

Before I get into the baseball, I'd like to say a few words about the chicken industry. Tyson foods calls Sprindale its home and claims to be the world's largest processor and marketer of all things chicken. And who can forget the episode of Seinfeld when the Yankees traded George to Tyson for some kind of fermented chicken drink. 15 years later, there's no denying that George would've loved the region, and possibly retired here very comfortably. I also want to give a shoutout to a little place called AQ Chicken. Possibly the best fried chicken this side of Kentucky. According to multiple pictures on the wall, former President Bill Clinton was a frequent visitor. I had a delicious variety platter of barbeque, lemon, and fried chicken, that is probably the best I have ever tasted.

Anyways, in the summer of 2006, it was decided upon by the powers that be, that the AA affiliate of the Kansas City Royals, then known as the Wichita Wranglers would be moving into a brand new state of the art minor league facility in Sprindale, Arkansas. Coincidentally, a mere short drive from Royals owner, David Glass's personal home. Hmm, I wonder if he had a hand in this? Well, anyways the attendance in Wichita had been suffering, and the move to Sprindale was in full effect. A new ballpark was built and opened for the 2008 season.

The ballpark itself is a quaint facility, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, adjacent to a few cow pastures, and rolling meadows. The nearest account of any civilization is a mere 1 1/2 miles away. Strategically placed signs along the road lead us gently into our destination. And boy was it a sight! It was all any minor league fan could ask for. Cheap beer, and affordable hot dogs! Before the game, I wandered ambiously through the complex and came across a booth of sorts. In it were 2 relief pitchers willifully signing some autographs for the kiddos. The kids were not impressed, and from the looks of the pitchers, they weren't either. But nevertheless, they trudged through their 30 minute signing session to make it out alive.

The game was decent. This particular evening saw the Naturals facing the Little Rock Travelers, AA team of the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles of California of the United States of America. After a few nervous errors in the first inning by the shortstop and third baseman, the Naturals settled down to post a 16-5 victory. I even got to see a real live minor league rehab assignment! Engaging stuff, let me tell ya!

To be honest, I didn't really move around much during the game, so I didn't really see much of the park, and quite honestly I'm probably not really that qualified to give a detailed review of the stadium. So in conclusion, one must ask, what did we really learn here? The answer to that question could possibly summed up into on simple sentence. And that sentence is...Wal-Mart controls the world, and possibly your local minor league team. Mass hysteria continues to consume us.

To wear your hat backwards? Or not...that is the question

I've been contemplating this question for a good 36 hours. I was always told that the cut-off date for when you become too old to wear your hat backwards was always 27 years of age. Nobody wants to see the douche bag 40 year old trying to act like he's a cool 19 again. It's not a pretty sight. And nothing good could ever come out of it. It's always been my opinion that this was understood worldwide, and it encompassed the entire genre of hat styles. Speaking to the Salmon, this is not the case.

He claims that the cut-off age for a flex fit is 18. Snap or velcro 23, and you are never too old to wear a gameday hat backwards as long as it fits in appropriate times and circumstances. I'd say, its probably not a good idea to wear your fitted Royals hat backwards to your grandma's funeral. Mowing the grass...yes. Mowing your girlfriend...no.

So the Salmon basically states for us that different hats calls for different situations. We are both 26 years old, and can recall a time in high school where it was hip to wear a trucker hat backwards. Sometimes your hair would come through the opening above the snap. This was just the way it was, and it was a time before the trucker hat went mainstream again. I can totally respect that era. But I don't respect it now. Since that period of time, the trucker hat has become a symbol of chic, that sickens me. They are now ball game give aways, and a person can't go a month now without seeing some prissy chick in a John Deere trucker hat. Let me tell you, I know real people that wear John Deere hats for real purposes. They wear them to pay homage to the tractor and all that it has provided for them in their daily lives. 17 year old suburban chicks have no idea.

I'm not entirely sure when the velcro came into existence, and to tell you the truth, I really don't want to find out. I assume it was either developed for cost cutting measures, or enough people complained that the snaps varied too much in between. Like for instance, 6 snaps was too tight, but 7 snaps was too loose. Hence the velcro made for more of a customization fitting for your head. A good idea in theory, but stupid if you want to wear it backwards. And in Salmon's case, if you even think about wearing it past 23, you're a major douche bag.

I myself recently purchased a vintage fitted Kansas City A's hat, circa 1955. And I wear it proudly. As I said earlier, I'm 26 and to my knowledge before yesterday, I was under the assumption that I had less than 1 year to wear my A's hat backwards proudly. Thanks to Salmon and all his wisdom, I will be able to continue past the dubious age of 27, and hopefully the kid's won't make fun of me behind my back. If they do, I'll just make fun of their straight-billed crooked cap, hip-hop wannabe ways and get on with my life.

The Wal-Martization of Society

Salmon, you know what I love about this country? -Wal-Mart. I love how we can leisurely stroll through any store in this country and instantly feel better about ourselves. Because lets face it, if you end up feeling worse about yourself, then you've got some real problems. Wal-Mart's got it all. You want a big tupperware container to store all of your shit? Wal-Mart's got it! You want a knock-off Zack Greinke shirt? Wal-Mart's got it! You've only got $5 bucks in your pocket and you've been dying to see the movie Just Married- Well guess what? Wal-Mart's got that too!

They are the world's largest retailer, that's causing the world to be just a little bit worse place to live. I'm an educated man. I've got a degree in Economics from the University of Missouri. Guess what? Wal-Mart money runs that school! Bet people didn't know that? There's a huge mural of Sam Walton right there in the Business school's foyer. Incidentally, its right next to the bathroom. Speaking of Sam Walton, I've done a bit of studying about him. I've read his autobiography. He was raised of humble beginnings in Columbia, Missouri graduated from college and made his way in the world. One hostile takeover of small town at a time. I guess you've got to give it to the guy. He had sharp business instinct, and slowly built his brand into world recognition. But what have we learned from this? What is the endgame?

I've got a few thoughts on that. Recently, I was assigned a homework assignment in one of my MBA business law classes to discuss the ethical nature of the Debbie Shank v. Wal-Mart Missouri Supreme Court case. If any of you mouthbreathers don't have a clue what I'm talking about, here's a synopsis: Debbie Shanks was a Wal-Mart employee in Eastern Missouri when she was severely injured in a car accident derived from a collision with a semi-tractor truck. Medical expenses exceeded $420,000. The Wal-Mart Health and wellness plan fully covered all of her doctor bills. Shanks' injuries have left her without the ability to work or ever live a normal life again. In the meantime, Shanks sued the semi-truck company and eventually settled for $700,000. This money was put into a trust which pays for Shanks' nursing care needs. All is settled right? -Nope. Wal-Mart comes in and files suit against the Shanks in hopes of recovering the $420,000 that was provided by Wal-Mart by the company's own health plan. The move was a legal maneuver by the company and as a result the court's decision was in favor of Wal-Mart for the Shanks to repay the medical expense money. The Shanks appealed the decision and lost that battle too.

One would ask, how much money does Wal-Mart need? How much is enough? Was it ethically right to go after a mentally disabled former employee? Probably not. But was it legal? Yes it was. Media pressure ascended down upon Wal-Mart executives and they eventually dropped the case, but its just another example of the hawk-like nature of greedy corporate CEO's.

We all know about how Wal-Mart puts pressure on their suppliers to constantly lower their prices, which will in-turn cause Wal-Mart to sell at lower than market prices to the consumer. This causes Wal-Mart to hire and employ labor for right around minimum wage level. Multiply that by hundreds of thousands of worldwide employment, and you've got a global economic meltdown on your hands. Is this what Sam Walton envisioned? Probably not, but its no doubt that he laid the groundwork for this outcome to take place.

I recently visited the Wal-Mart headquarters and visitor's center in Bentonville, Arkansas on my way to a baseball game. I took note at the simplicity of the original headquarters. Placed innocently in a small town square, adjacent to a statue of a confederate soldier. It was tough for me to imagine global domination from such a quaint beginning. -But then as the old saying goes. Rome wasn't built in a day- and neither was Wal-Mart.

Sam Walton was truly a pioneer of the retail business. Many, many books and articles have been written in his prowess. In many ways he is revered upon as an innovator. In other ways he's jeered upon as his successors have preyed upon the little guy. He always said in his comments that, if it wasn't him- it'd just be someone else....Perhaps he's right. But what concerns many that thinks along the same lines, is that this capitalist system put this opportunity in place. I'm not considering abolishing the free market, but I do support certain reforms that reduce unemployment, especially among educated citizens. India and China are miles ahead of us in this game, and its time we follow suit.

Aaron

hello

i would like to agree with my good buddy airun, john and kate plus 8 was a good idea gone wrong, i mean think about those poor kids

well i am going to rant on how i think college is bull-shit.

i spend 200 dollars on a book and when i am done with it i got 20, i am in a speech class were this girl talks about rape and so on, and even worse it gives your average mouth breather to get a two yr degree that will some how catapult your shitty life to the moon were anything is possible, this is simply not true.

i currently have a 3.5 gpa now if that is possible there is something wrong with the school, hahaha. how ever unlike the mouth breathers and future felons of America i have already started my steps to get into a four yr school.

once i get there i can look forward to required readings 300 dollar books that i will get 20 bucks back for.

now any thing you want to know (i hate to admit this because i don't care much for the internet)but is right here at your proverbial finger tips.

if you want to look up Chinese policies you can world economics its right there, civil war in Africa, all this is on the net and it only cost you your average cable internet bill, and you don't have to deal with all the shit, plus if you get board you can look up porn and have a tug at it hahahaha.

but for real people relay on other to much and have lost the sense of independence and pride of doing something on their own.

my only hope is 2012 roles around and thats all she wrote i want to be there when the fat lady sings and maybe i can hit that shit before its all said and done

well the one bright spot is Zack Greinke is on the mound tonight the anarchy to the civilized sport of baseball

so go Royals screw college more importantly screw the college student and screw me for being a hypocrite and going to college myself


the salmon out

Jon & Kate plus hate

Hey all. I wanted to take a few moments to weigh in on the Jon and Kate hysteria that seems to be sweeping the country. If nobody knows what I'm talking about. Here's a little background. There's this couple Jon and Kate. They have 8 kids. 6 of them are sextuplets. Hilarity ensues.

What's interesting to note, is that nothing about this is interesting to note. It's the kind of drivel that encompasses our TV every night. The basic plot of the show goes like this:

Kate: Kids, lets all do an activity.

8 Kids: Yay!

Jon: I hate my life.

I'm pretty sure that conversation happens every show. How somebody can be famous for having a bunch of kids, I'll never know? I guess the population is infatuated by a little something out of the norm (I guess that's why the little people midget show is so popular). Nothing really at all goes on, except for lots of arguing and children's activities...Riveting TV right there.

But I wanted to get to something that's disconcerning to me as a man, a citizen of this country, and a television viewer. I'll just put it all out there. Kate is kind of a bitch.

Ok now, I'm not there day in and day out. I don't know all of the particulars, but from what I can tell, Kate is just a downright, run of the mill, blonde bitch. It's something I've been contemplating for days now. But lets look at the facts. Once she got famous for popping out a bunch of kids, she decided to turn her body into a plastic sack of womanly toys. Which is all fine and dandy, but there's no need for the attitude. Everybody knows you're now relatively hot now. We don't have to talk about it like you're the next Marilyn Monroe! Which brings me to my next point.

It seems as though her new attitude as given her a license to treat Jon like crap. Jon didn't ask for this. I'm very empathetic to his situation. He was just chugging along in life, suddenly his wife takes a couple of fertility pills and he's suddenly thrusted onto the national scene. Hey listen, $75K and episode would effect anyone! But I truly feel that he's grounded in ways that she's not. He knows his roots and seems like an all-around ok dude. She's hell on two plastic legs.

So now it appears that the two are splitting up. I wouldn't put it past the TV Illuminati that this is just some sort of deceptive move among the powers at be at TLC that this is some kind of hoax to build ratings. But even if it was. I wouldn't blame him if he did take off and bolt. His life turned from average middle class, to 8 kids and a bitchy wife, to paparazzi. No one at all would blame him for getting out of all of that. Of course, I'd hate to pay the child support for 8 kids.

I think the bigger issue here is attitude change by Kate. Once she got hot, she changed. It's not unlike alot of situations out there where the fat girl turns hot and suddenly she obtains an attitude. But just once in this god forsaken world we live in, I'd like to watch something where the woman remains true to herself. Where she's the same person to the end....Kinda like Pam from The Office. At least some of that is improv. Right?

sick thoughts by the Salmon

hello everyone these are some thoughts you all my have or my not have ever thought about.
1-i wounder what a dogs vagina feels like
2-every one over the age of 75 should be euthanized
3-take advantage of DNA testing when having a baby
4-if there is something wrong with your baby no shit weigh out the pros and cons of having said baby. and the quality of life of the baby(religion has nothing to do with this)
5-i like to imagine what kinda underwear all girls over 18 up to including 50 yr old milfs
6-there is no real religion just ideas that make you comfortable with living in this shit stain called earth
7-veterans that signed up after 911 should not receive ptsd benefits they knew what they were getting into (now if they get wounded they should still recive the best medical care out there) just no ptsd
8-if you agree with any of this your a dick head
9- we all die enjoy it
10-i would imagine having my prostate stimulated while getting my dick sucked with a over weight Inuit lady dances while two roosters fight and peewee herman video tapes it

those are the first ten that poped into my head more to come

Better get to know a ballpark---Rosenblatt Stadium (update)

Hey all. Aaron here. I wanted to give the community a little update on the first of our 756 part series "Better get to know a Ballpark" feature. We're one post in, and there's already some contraversy. Nice...

I mentioned in my previous post that the city of Omaha was working on tearing down old Rosenblatt and building a brand new stadium. And that is, in fact, the case...But, I'll also mention that they are not only going to build one new stadium, but two new stadiums within the metropolitan area. This is amazing stuff.

Here's how the story goes...The NCAA told the city of Omaha that they'd better get to building a new stadium, or else the College World Series would pursue other options in other cities. So this scared the city into ponying up an $126 million dollar tax levy upon the citizens to build a brand new 24,000 seat baseball venue in the downtown "Old Market" area, adjacent to the Qwest Center, which is their brand spanking new arena. What a great idea right? Build a new ballpark downtown, to generate interest in revitilization efforts inside the city itself. It's been done before, and it will be done in again and again. It's all the rage among sports venue construction, and it seems like a solid plan...But wait! There's more....

Considering the new project, one would think that the AAA Omaha Royals baseball team would move right into the new CWS venue, and take advantage of the developing situation downtown. Nope. What do they decide to do? The O-Royals decide to build their own 6,000 seat venue 10 miles south of the city of Omaha on a 300 acre piece of land in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles from civilization. The city of Papillion, Nebraska has granted $26 million in tax dollars to fund the project. The location of Pallion, Nebraska is the equivalent of BFE. I've learned that the Pacific Coast League was not a huge fan of the Omaha Royals yearly 17 game roadtrip in the middle of June, just to accomodate the CWS. So they decided to go about it their own way. An honorable decision, if it wasn't so ridiculously planned.

From what I can tell, the citizens of the entire metropolitan area are PISSED at these developments, and its no wonder why. Rosenblatt, albeit old, is intimate, and some consider it the Fenway Park of the Pacific Coast League. The old stadium is scheduled to be demolished in the summer of 2011, and in its place the Omaha Zoo will create more parking, and probably a couple more monkey exhibits. If you're monkey lover, this is you're kinda deal. Good on ya, monkey lover! Can't wait to visit Omaha real soon.

well hello everyone

i just want to say hello world. so hello. how is everyone doing, i dont think people ask each other that enough. so hello world, drop me a line by responding to our blog if you just want to get a little off your chest.

my thoughts

well my life is good but there are two people in this world, those who have and those who dont. i have Megan and that's all i really need, how ever it would be nice to hve some stuff to. mt example is this, on e-bay there was this beautiful 1975 bmw motorcycle it was only 1500.00. and i couldn't bid on it even if i wanted to. see the thing is no one will give me a job i collect a small amount of disability and have to go to school full time to collect my gi bill money to make ends meet.

now see the thing is i don't need this bike i want it and it is justifiable. my truck gets 10mph in the city and a bike would be way easier to pa for and afford to put gas in and get around on.
i don't want to sound like i am ungrateful, i have Megan a roof over my head and food to eat, i am in good shape so life is ok.
but heres the thing i went to war for this peace of sit country and cant get a lone for a bike because of debt i raked up when i thought i was going to be in the service my hole life. well after getting other peoples blood in my mouth and listening to them scream in pure agony i thought i would be best to get out before i pulled a Rambo.
see i also understand a lot of vets make it good for them and that's not sarcasm. but i seam to be having trouble.
unfortunately "i ant no senators son" i didn't have money for school my pops (god bless him) cant help with anything other than advice. i would not trade that for the world i love my dad i wouldn't ant other way. i am just saying every now and then i want. does that make me wrong

The "fuck yeah" moment

I'd like to discuss something I refer to as the "fuck yeah" moment in life. Its hard to explain, but I'll try and do my best. The Fuck Yeah moment is the moment of anticipation for future awesome moments. It's a pre-celebratory moment, if you will, that leads directly into the main event.

An example: You're at a concert. Milling around the room, talking to your neighbors just right before the band goes on stage. You just grabbed a beer at the concession stand and you're yip yapping back and forth with your group talking about the last time you seen the band play and how they're getting old now, but they still know how to rock...And then it happens. The lights go dark! The band is just about to unleash awesomeness unto which you will not be able to comprehend. You know its coming, and you can't take it anymore. The lead Guitarist is noodling his way until that moment when it seems like a freight train hits you right in the face..."Fuck Yeah," you yell as the lead singer belts out the opening line....That's a fuck yeah moment.

An example: In baseball, the starting pitcher for the nights game begins his night's initial work in the bullpen 25 minutes before the scheduled first pitch. He plays long toss with the catcher, until he feels comfortable enough to take the rubber in the bullpen. There he works on his various pitches that he plans on using for the night. He'll throw a variety of fastballs, change-ups, breaking balls, until he's loose, and ready for the game to start. The jumbotron is announcing the starting lineups and bad 80's metal plays in the background. The starting pitcher has finished his final warm-up tosses and is ready to take the long trot down the right field line into the infield. But before he does so, he gathers among the other pitchers in the bullpen and the starting catcher, and they all share a moment together. Its an anticipated moment that leads the group into nexus of emotions for the coming evening..."Fuck Yeah," someone yells in the crowd adjacent to the bullpen. "Go get 'em tonight" The pitcher acknowledges the well-wishers and jogs into the game.

*****

There are many "fuck yeah" moments in life, and these are just a couple of them. Its important to remember these as they happen, because they are the little things in this world, that makes this life worth living.

They call him Disco because he throws in the 70's...

I wanted to talk a little about a pitcher the Royals have in their minor league system playing for the NW Arkansas Naturals. His name is Chris Hayes, and he's a very interesting study to say the least. By his own admission, he throws underhanded like a girl, barely hits 74mph with his fastball, and has a change-up that needs an advanced degree in astro-physics to understand. He's truly a unique individual...Oh and by the way, he's got a degree in Computer Science from Northwestern. He's such a smart dude that people are now asking him for computer technical support questions on his blog. How he balances out answering tech support questions and closing for the NW Arkansas Naturals, all the while supporting a sub 2 ERA, I'll never understand.

He's gotta great blog you can check out, and I advise all of you to do so. Many people smarter than myself, including Rany Jazayerli, have broken down his statistics and physical make-up and potential as a Royals prospect so I won't get into that here...but I thought I'd reprint a question I asked him recently regarding the post-game celebratory high-five following a win:

*********

Could you explain to me the anatomy of the post-game celebratory high five. It seems to me that 2 lines somehow form in what appears to be in perfect conjunction with one another. Both lines dutifully high five one another while the pitcher inadvertently gets his butt slapped. What I don't understand is who and how do the players decide to get in which line? What happens if you get in the wrong line, and are there any consequences?

Aaron D., Kansas City, MO


Walk-off wins are the only wins that don't have a prescribed choreography (I wanted to use the term "blocking" here instead but didn't because I figured my fan-base didn't overlap with theater fans...I've made myself laugh now in proofreading that I ironically settled on "choreography"). Walk-offs are also the wins that make relief pitchers feel really awkward. It's getting off topic, but next time you get the opportunity to see a walk-off win, just watch the relievers and enjoy their awkwardness. They are way late to the party and don't really know how much jumping is enough, yet not too much.

Back on topic. For all non-walk-offs, the pitcher and catcher will meet halfway between the mound and the plate and shake hands. The rest of the fielders who were in the game will congregate just behind second base and congratulate each other and make small talk and then form a line and begin walking towards the mound from second base. The pitcher and catcher will then walk towards the mound from home plate. The bench players will join behind the pitcher and catcher in walking away from home towards the mound in a line. As the two lines meet, the players will high five, knock knuckles, side bump, or execute a hand shake all their own. Once the line moving away from home gets to the end of the line moving towards home, they do an about-face and now become part of the line moving towards home (think trumpet line in a marching band). The manager and a few of his coaches will stay at the foul line and await all the players to eventually make their way back towards the dugout. The fielders who started the line in from second base will make it to the manager first and then the rest will eventually fall in line.

"Inadvertent" butt slaps are a foreign concept to me as all butt slaps I have been a part of (both as slapper and slappee) have been executed knowingly. And consequences for entering the wrong line would probably be pretty severe from both your team and the winning team if you shook off the loss quickly enough to join the butt slap line of the team who just beat you.

Disco Chris Hayes

we live in shit

well hello everyone this is the salmon here reporting on whats going on in my world. i attend a small college for right now until i feel confident to go to a real four year school (that moment is rapidly approaching). like my buddy aaron i to have noticed the decline in the genetic make up of my small town and i noticed this on the bus to school, perel doesn't make enough hand sanitizer for that 20 min journey.

muncie is a small town formally and maybe still known as little chicago. it is divided into what i can tell south side, country, and ghetto.

the bus to school travels right through the heart of the south side home to mouth breathers, 15yr old moms and white dude that listen to rap real loud and where sideways Yankee hates, the south side of town used to be known as shed town but now its a peace of crap the city of muncie openly built a round about to divide the rest of the city from the south side and no one cared.

on the bus i have smelt and heard my fair share of nastiness that would shock the most hardened of individuals. example my boy friend used to beat me so my dad came over with a gun and ran him off, the same lady fallowed that gem of a story by saying she likes to fuck and it doesn't matter how much because she cant have babys. she also talked about how she got caught stealing discount shampoo, and said next time she will steal the real stuff. thats one lady the other stuff i heard is to bad to even talk about

whats causing this decline in brain cells across America?
i dont know is it Rock of Love, i love money. TV could be the big culprit
or is it there is no competition for survival anymore people get away on their looks, or left alone by they lack there of.

the world needs to introduce a new predator, maybe North Korea should launch a Nuclear rocket right up our ass and force us to start over again


well thats all for now my class is starting

the salmon

out